Let’s talk about DEI in the Big 4. Because it’s bullshit

They roll out DEI initiatives, women’s leadership programs, and endless panels about how to “fix the problem” of too many white male partners.

But here’s the truth: The white men are still the ones choosing who moves up the ranks. They want women around, just in case the client happens to be female, but most don't want us to share our insights and definitely don't want us at the top.

And when they say someone “isn’t ready,” what they really mean is:

“She doesn’t act like us.”

“She doesn’t laugh at our rude jokes or pushes back.”

“She doesn’t sit quietly when we make decisions she disagrees with.”

I’ve seen it all.

 🍸The cocktails and dinners – men bonding over scotch while the women are judged for ordering wine.

 💃The strip club outings – “team bonding” for them, career suicide for any woman who dared go along. I was called a slut just for hanging out with guys as the ONLY female for 5 years.

😁 The rude humor – if you don’t laugh, you’re uptight. If you do, you’re unprofessional. Forget making the same type of jokes at the expense of the men... that's grounds for firing.

The double standard is suffocating. Men get to be bold, brash, and ballsy. Women get told we’re difficult, emotional, or “not quite partner material.”

And the women who do make it to the top? Too often they pull the ladder up behind them. Because enduring this toxic culture becomes a rite of passage. They survive by becoming just like the men who let them in.

I saw it overseas too. White men from Western countries running entire country practices they didn’t understand. Making decisions for people they didn’t respect. All because they were “trusted leaders.”

Meanwhile, as an MD, I was told I couldn’t be part of the global PPD group unless I planned the lunches, dinners, and global retreat.

Imagine being told:

You can’t sit at the table unless you set it first.

DEI isn’t about fixing the pipeline. It's not about hiring people who don't deserve to be there solely based on skin color or reproductive organs. It’s about fixing the gatekeepers who guard the pipeline like it’s their birthright because in their eyes we can't win unless they lose.

Until we address the toxic masculinity at large corporations, it’s just another PowerPoint. Another performative panel. Another lunch we’re expected to plan but never actually eat at the table.